


it's not a secret that i'm into you

by larryink (blynrin)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Also Harry owns a diary, Coffeeshop AU, Friends to Lovers, Hair pulling accidentally happens too, Harry names her Miss Fluffkins, Harry's ex boyfriend was a jerk to him but don't worry he's only mentioned, I'm trying to think of what to tag it's difficult, Kinda, Louis lying about stuff, M/M, Misunderstandings, Narry brotp, Niall sneaks a kitten into their dorm and she pees on his carpet, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Student!Harry, and Louis finds it on the bus, awkward first date, hair petting, harry is a dork, mentions of cheating, older!louis, sorry about that, super cheesy and bad ending, that happens, zouis brotp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 16:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3776005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blynrin/pseuds/larryink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Louis is halfway out the door, already trying to figure out the closest way to the office, when he hears the puppy boy say to flour boy "Harry! I've got you a sandwich," and he almost drops everything he's holding because</i> Harry. <i>Could it be...?</i></p><p>Louis finds Harry's diary and falls in love with him through the words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's not a secret that i'm into you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [merines](https://archiveofourown.org/users/merines/gifts).



> Hi ! So this is my first time doing a fic exchange, and the prompt I did was _louis finds harry's diary after he accidentally leaves it somewhere (place of your choosing) and he falls in love with him through the words. feel free to pick out how they actually meet in person. anything from they already know each other but aren't actually friends or they're flat out strangers. whatever you think works best for it! also MAGIC HAPPENS._ Which I thought was too good to be true so I wrote it and I really hope I did it justice, seriously. Thank you merines for having such amazing prompts !!!!!
> 
> I really want to thank my betas, they are super wonderful.
> 
> Emma, your ideas give me life and you're so excited about everything I do I love it I love you you're awesome and stay golden. Seriously, I don't know where I'd be with all my fics (still don't know where I am tbh) without you bouncing ideas back and forth with me !!! You're wonderful.
> 
> Neam, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, you always make sure I'm on the right track and you listen to me blabber on about nothing like 24/7 and always check out what I've written even if it's one paragraph and help me out so much I'm seriously so thankful for you thank you you're the light of my life I couldn't ask for anyone better I seriously dhfke
> 
> there's no song to go along with this title, I made it up on the spot because I couldn't find a suitable song. I might change it later though.
> 
> Happy reading !!! Feedback appreciated xx

There's a woman beside Louis, her hair grey and falling past her shoulders. She's frail, shaking slightly from the cold. He glances over at her occasionally as they wait for the bus, she in a jacket and he in his suit and black trench. He has a scarf wrapped around his neck, but a beanie in his pocket that he didn't feel like messing up his hair with.

Louis frowns, taking off his scarf and putting the beanie on, not caring about his hair at this point. He turns to the woman and smiles sheepishly. "Ma'am?" he asks, holding out the scarf to her with a questioning and hopeful look.

She glances at him, then at the scarf in his outstretched hand and takes it from him. "Thank you," she says, small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Louis nods, then mumbles "It's no problem, you seemed cold."

She wraps it around her neck and around her ears and chin, snuggling her face into it. They don't talk after that, but Louis feels good about what he did. He doesn't mourn the loss of the scarf, he'll just get another one. It's not like they're that hard to find in the middle of winter.

It's half past five in the morning when the bus finally pulls in front of the curb, doors swinging open for Louis and the woman. There aren't many people on the bus this early in the morning, which he's thankful for.

Louis has just sat down on the bus and taken out his phone to read his emails when something out of the corner of his eye catches his attention. He turns to look at the empty seat beside him and sees a journal sitting there, the brown leather covered with random doodles and dents, obviously well loved by it's owner. He glances around the bus quickly, confused, because why would someone leave their journal here?

He thinks about leaving it for someone else to find but then thinks there could possibly be a name on the inside front cover. He picks the journal up, turning it in his hands to read the writing on the back, but unable to make it out. Shrugging, he opens to the front, only to find it blank.

Louis flips through the book quickly, realizing it's filled with paragraphs rather than dates and notes, or even art like he'd thought (judging from the doodles on the front). It seems to be like an actual journal, that you write, like, thoughts in or something.

He flips to a random page and is greeted with _Dear diary_ and he knows he's in for it. the entry is short, but written with bold and loopy handwriting, even if it is small.

__

_Dear diary,_

__

_I'm pretty sure this guy just flicked scrap paper into my hair. I've accused him of it in the past, but he always just looks at me with this blank expression, as if he can't believe I'm even talking to him but what does he expect? It's like he's shooting spitballs at me. But every time I talk he just stares at me and it's so creepy I have to turn around. What's his deal? Why does he have to ruin my hair? :( Is he just jealous that it's so voluminous and therefore, better than his?_

Jesus Christ. Louis reads over the entry again and shakes his head in disbelief. Who is this person? He flips to another page.

_Dear diary,_

__

_There's this guy, and he's gorgeous. I know I shouldn't be thinking about anything like this so soon after... Him, but I can't help it. This guy is a man, not some dumb uni boy. He came into the coffee shop earlier for an expresso and we made small talk. I could barely speak, though. This always happens when he comes in. This man probably has at least five years on me, maybe more. He's hot as hell, and really rocks the dad hair. I wonder if he is a dad..._

Louis is speechless. The bus rolls to a stop and he's forced to get off, a bit in a daze. He promises to himself that he won't read any more of this person's diary. He's trying to decide if it's a boy or a girl, physically, but his mind just doesn't want to work this early in the morning.

\--

Saturday morning finds him in a little coffee shop-slash-bookstore. He's nestled in at a booth behind a few shelves when he takes out the journal again. Louis reasons that if he's going to be returning it to its rightful owner, he needs to know more about said owner so he can figure out who it belongs to.

He flips to a random page, the _Dear diary_ a familiar sight by now. He's hit with a stab of guilt, because he's reading this person's _personal property._ That's something you just don't do!

He's tempted, again, to shut the book but he wants to return it, doesn't he?

 

_Dear diary,_

 

_Niall slapped me in the face earlier after inviting me to a party on Friday. I'm seriously going to murder this boy, I swear. If I hadn't known him through his awkward Justin Bieber stage, I'd think he was a huge dick. Which he is. But, like, he's my best friend so I guess I'm stuck with him. Just another day in the life of poor Harry :(_

__

Louis wonders who this Niall is. Then, he realizes he has a name to go along with the diary. Harry. It has to be a boy, unless they're a Harriet. But they could very well be a Harold. He's thinking he likes the idea of a Harold more than a Harriet. It's more exciting.

\---

He can't find his journal. Harry's been tearing apart his room for an hour already and it is _nowhere to be seen_ , and that scares the shit out of him. He tries to think back on all the places he had been today, and realizes that the last time he remembers having it was... on the bus.

"Fuck!" He screams, throwing himself down on his bed. Niall pokes his head through the door and looks around the room.

"Uh, Harry, what did you do to your room? Why are you yelling?" He asks, stepping inside and heading over toward the boy laying on the bed.

Harry lifts his head up at him and screams again, before shoving his face in his pillow and holding his breath so he doesn't cry.

"Niall, I lost my journal," he says, but it comes out more like "Nnndnfi lommi jurnl" because of the pillow.

"Sorry, what?" Niall asks, and Harry sighs before flipping over and  sitting up.

"I said, I lost my journal."

"You mean your diary?" Niall snickers.

"No! It's a journal. And I lost it. On the bus. And I don't think I'll ever get it back. And, like, what if someone I know finds it? What if they realize it's mine? I don't think I've ever actually put like my info in it but like... What if they recognize it as me?" He's babbling, trying not to cry.

Niall is speechless for a moment before placing an arm around Harry's shoulders. "I'm sure that the bus driver probably found it. Try calling the company? Do you remember what the driver looked like?"

Harry shakes his head. "But what if it was someone else?" His eyes widen. "Oh my God, Niall, I started every entry with Dear diary. I'm so stupid! I was just being silly... Oh, God I'm screwed!"

Niall stares at him, obviously wanting to make fun of him, but must decide against it. He pulls Harry into a hug and shakes his head. "You're a weird kid. I'm sure it will all end up alright."

\---

_Dear diary,_

__

_Jeff called me today. He wants to apologize. I want him to burn in hell._

\---

Louis hasn't stopped reading it. No matter how many times he tries to stop, he doesn't. He's shocked at the depth some of the entries go into about the most mundane, random things. It’s ridiculous. He's learned more about this Harry character than most of his friends.

He knows Harry's best friend is some bloke named Niall, who's loud and obnoxious and gets drunk quite often and then screams at his tv screen when he dies in a game he's playing.

He knows that Harry helps teach a class of 9 year olds, because they're taking education courses. He also knows that half of their students are in love with them, because they seem to be the best teacher anyone could have. And from the way Harry describes the way the students talk to them... Well, it isn't that hard to infer.

He knows that Harry works in a coffee shop somewhere in the city and serves mostly old women and a lot of students, ranging from hipsters to the occasional jock.  

Louis even knows the sad bits, about how Harry's ex-boyfriend (which still doesn't help him figure out what Harry's gender is) was a gigantic prick and treated Harry like shit.

That's the part he hates the most.

\---

It's way too early to be up, and Harry's been in the coffee shop for an hour already, getting ready for opening. He's currently elbow deep in flour and he's pretty sure it's all over his clothes and in his hair, but he's always insisted on cooking the pastries from scratch and so it's his fault for the mess that's created.

There's about another hour before the doors open, before people start slowly trickling in for their morning coffees and sweets before they're off to work or school. Most of the baking is done, and as Harry waits for the last batch of muffins to bake, he starts up the machines for coffee and tea and starts brewing.

"Hey, Harry," a voice startles him from his routine and he looks up to see Liam walking in through the back. The other boy comes in right before opening so Harry's not serving every customer on his own. Liam's wearing a dark hoodie today with a pair of jeans, and Harry is once again struck with how attractive his coworker is, but also how young he is. How young they both are, actually. Despite Liam's more reserved tendencies, he's still a uni boy and probably boring as hell in a relationship. Plus, Harry wants a man. Someone who's been around the block and knows how to treat him right, unlike Jeff.

Harry grins at his coworker. "Li, hi! You startled me. Good morning."

"Good morning to you, too. What else needs to be done before I unlock the door?" Liam asks Harry from where's he's currently unlocking the till for the register.

Harry looks around before shrugging. "Not much? Everything's pretty much done. Can you take that last batch out when it's ready? I'm gonna go try to clean myself off, as much as I can."

Liam looks up at Harry as if just seeing him and bursts into laughter.  "Yeah, good luck with that," he lifts a hand to wave him off, trying to stifle his laughter. "Go on then."

Pouting, Harry turns on his heel and quickly makes his way to the bathroom, flipping Liam the bird over his shoulder. It just makes him laugh harder.

\---

Louis's movements are sluggish, but that's understandable for how early it is. He's still rubbing sleep from his eyes, thoughts of the diary still in his mind. He's determined to find the owner.

_Dear diary,_

__

_I love my job, I do. Don't get me wrong, I could be working at McDonald's... but sometimes I wish I could do something bigger with the "talent" I have. Liam says that the cafe is the perfect place for me. I love helping people and hearing their stories, and that's what's so great about working here. I can sit down and talk with customers when we're slow, browse books with them, and most importantly, I can bake here! But for some reason it feels like something is missing, something bigger. I just wish I knew what it was._

__

_-Harry._

It's the only time Harry has ever signed off at the end, and Louis wonders why. Is it because of the serious tone of the entry?

Louis wonders what Harry is longing for. To him, it seems like the job fits Harry's personality quite well. Whatever it is, he hopes Harry finds what they're looking for.

\---

The bell above the door jingles for the billionth time that day. Harry was never able to fully get all the flour from his person, but he hopes it just adds to his charm. "Hello!" He calls out to the customer, his voice echoing from the back room where he's started on some of the dishes. He's been back and forth between those and serving customers while Liam is on lunchbreak.

He bounces out to see that man, the one that comes in a couple times a week for a morning coffee to go. He's dressed in a fancy suit and coat, a scarf wrapped around his neck. In his hands he holds a few books and across his chest is the strap for his satchel.

Harry smiles politely at him, his cheeks already starting to flush red. "Hi, what can I get for you?" He watches as the man slowly scans over the menu, before reciting what he usually gets. Harry wonders if he would ever actually choose something different, because he reads the menu each time but never changes his order. The man never once looks at him, for which Harry is both extremely frustrated with but also secretly grateful. He knows he looks a mess right now, his black skinny jeans covered in flour and a bit of it still in his curls, pulled back in a bun with a hair tie he'd found in the breakroom. His white sweater is the only thing that looks normal about him, but still. His cheeks are red with a combination of the heat from the ovens, and his infatuation with the man in front of him.

He's been staring over the man's shoulder for a while now, and when he finally realizes he should collect his money and start with his order, he realizes that the man has spoken to him. "I'm sorry, I spaced out. What was that?"

He chuckles. Harry nearly swoons. "It's alright, all I said was that it seems messy work you do here. Do you enjoy it?"

Harry grins. "Oh, yes, I love it. I don't even care how messy it is, I love cleaning, so... it works for me."

Curved eyebrows almost shoot into the man's perfect hairline, and he laughs. "I don't think I've ever met a boy who enjoys cleaning. At least no one your age." He accepts his change when Harry hands it back to him, shoving it into his pocket while Harry reluctantly steps away from the counter to get him his coffee.

"I'm not really like other guys my age, so that's understandable." Harry shrugs, listening to the whirring of the machine filling the silence before capping the drink and sliding it across the counter. "Would you like a sleeve for that?"

\---

"Yes, please. Thanks," Louis murmurs, glancing at his watch briefly before cursing under his breath. He looks up at the boy in front of him, his curls pushed back from his face and his green eyes wide. "I've got to get going or I'm going to be late. Have a nice day," he says, before taking his coffee and turning around.

He almost hits another boy, one who vaguely resembles a puppy of some sort, on his way back in the door, and just narrowly misses having hot liquid splashed all across his torso.

"Shit, I am so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going." The boy smiles apologetically at him before turning around and heading back in.

Louis is halfway out the door, already trying to figure out the closest way to the office, when he hears the puppy boy say to flour boy "Harry! I've got you a sandwich," and he almost drops everything he's holding because _Harry_. Could it be...?

He needs to know if that was Harry, his Harry, the diary Harry.

He'll figure it out, when he's not late for work

\---

_Dear diary,_

__

_The kids today told me that I look like Tarzan. I don't know whether I should be offended or not, but I smiled at them and said that my father was an ape. They loved that, for some reason. A lot of them actually drew me monkeys and gorillas to keep and I think I'm going to hang them up on my corkboard. I love kids. I think I want ten of them._

__

_Dear diary,_

__

_I have never wanted to kill anyone more than I want to kill Niall right now. He invited a girl over last night and was so loud I had to actually seek shelter across the hall. Good thing the girl there is cool with random people crashing on her couch when they want to get away from their noisy roommate's loud sex. I owe her my life._

\---

"I can't just walk up to him and say 'oh hey, is this your diary?' He'd probably think I'm out of my mind!"

Louis is sitting on Zayn's carpet, their backs against Zayn's couch as a joint is passed between the two.

"But what if it is his?" Zayn asks, smoke billowing out from his mouth. "Then he'll thank you for returning it and reward you with sex- ow! Why did you hit me?"

"It's not about the _sex_ Zayn, Jesus Christ. I think I love this kid and I don't even know who he is!"

Zayn grins at him, passing the joint back to Louis. "Then maybe you should find out, shouldn't you?"

\---

_Dear diary,_

__

_It's my birthday!!!!! Mum literally bought me ten pairs of socks and mailed them to me with a birthday card. I miss her... I should go see her and Robin sometime soon. Maybe when Gemma comes back to visit as well. It'll be so fun!_

__

_Dear diary,_

__

_Niall bought me a kitten. Well, he found a kitten and snuck it into our dorm. I knew I was friends with him for a reason. I named her Miss Fluffkins and she's already peed on Niall's floor twice. I love her._

\---

It's only been a day before Harry sees that man again. He walks in and heads straight to the counter. He looks more awake than he had the other morning, although a bit weary. Harry wonders what he does for a living that could take so much out of a person.

Harry smiles at him, cataloguing his features for the umpteenth time. His swirly dad hair, his sharp cheekbones, and his blue eyes...

"Hi, what can I get for you?" He asks, smiling so his dimples are on display. They're his best feature.

Blue Eyes squints at him, as if trying to figure something out, before looking up at the menu board. "I'll just have a regular coffee and a chocolate chip muffin, uh..." he says and stares at Harry's apron.

Harry's confused for a moment before he realizes he doesn't have a nametag like a normal store employee. "Harry," he says, realizing the man just asked for his _name_. Kinda. "My name's Harry."

The man grins, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Harry finds it adorable.

\---

He was right! Well, he thinks. There's still the smallest chance this isn't his Harry, but that chance is probably around one in a million.

"Well, Harold, how much do I owe you?"

A blush spreads across the boy's face, his cheeks dimpling even more (Louis didn't think that could be possible). "Nothing, it's on me."

That surprises him. "Listen, I'm not going to let you pay for my food when you're, what, living on a student's salary? You're in uni, right?"

Harry's smile falls a bit and he ducks his head, his cheeks redder than before. "Well, yeah, I am a student..." Suddenly, he perks up and leans across the counter.

"However, you can pay me back by taking me out to dinner tonight."

Louis is taken aback. "You don't even know my name," he says, dumbfounded. Harry's pretty straightforward, which he should have guessed. He's almost one hundred percent sure this is the diary Harry, and if he knows anything about the person who wrote that journal, he knows that they're weird, and unpredictable.

"Then why don't you tell me your name so I can stop calling you Dad Hair and Blue Eyes in my head?" Harry cocks his head and smiles, his shyness, if it could even be called that, from earlier totally gone.

"I'm Louis. It's nice to meet you, Harry."

\---

They end up going to this cute little restaurant-slash-bar that just opened up down the road from the coffee shop Harry works at. He's dressed in his skinniest pair of jeans, an almost see through black top and matching black headscarf. _Louis_ , the man he's been lusting after since he first saw him (and had actually written about in his still-missing diary), had come and picked him up outside the dorms and driven them there.

And Louis looks _really good_ , like, his hair is up in a messy looking quiff that totally works, and he's wearing this really nice purple button up... Harry thinks he's in love.

Louis is sitting across from him with this small smile on his face as he talks about his work as a manager for some thing or whatever, and all Harry can think of is the fact that despite their earlier flirting (was it even flirting? He doesn't know what to think. Maybe it was only him), Louis hasn't said or done anything to make Harry think that he's interested. Sure, they're out for dinner right now, but Louis didn't even order anything to eat, only a glass of wine. Did he mistake this for a bro thing, like getting drinks? Unless Harry wasn't clear enough. It's like Louis is being cautious.

Maybe he knows Harry is into him, and is only out with him to be nice?

He doesn't know what to think, and he's maybe freaking out a bit.

\---

"Sorry, I've been talking about myself nonstop. I have a tendency to do that..." Louis looks down, sheepishly, at his glass of wine and then smiles up at Harry across from him. "What are you studying in school?" He asks, even though he knows almost for sure what he'll say.

"Oh, well," Harry fidgets, poking at his food and Louis wishes he hadn't eaten earlier because that was a stupid thing to do. The food here looks really good but he knows it'd be stupid to order food he's not even going to eat, so why bother ordering it in the first place? He hates leftovers, anyway. "I'm working toward becoming a primary teacher. I love working with kids and I've always wanted to help people and why not become one, y'know? I can help shape the generations of the future."

Louis grins, and tries to fight it down. "That's awesome. I love kids, too. I have five younger sisters and a younger brother, so I'm used to them. Practically helped my mum raise them. I bet the kids you work with love you, don't they?"

Harry tilts his head, looking at Louis in confusion for a second before nodding. "I mean, I guess... How did you know I was working with kids already? A lot of the courses don't have us in a classroom until a year or two after we start taking them."

Louis froze for a short moment before shrugging. "I just... figured, y'know, that you must be working with them. I don't know much about educational classes." He tries to play it off, shrugging again and taking a long sip of his drink.

Harry has this odd look on his face for the rest of the night, and Louis is so screwed. What if they start dating and then Harry finds out about Louis having his journal and he hates him forever? He doesn't think he could live with that. He wants to know Harry more, outside of what he's written down and if he has to just settle with being friends to save himself the heartbreak... He figures that would be better.

\---

_Dear diary,_

__

_I threw Jeff out today. Not really, because we never actually lived together... But I finally kicked him to the curb. That dick deserved it, for fucking me around for so long. I can't believe I spend so much time on him... I just thought I could make it work, y'know? How was I to know he was sleeping with someone else? Like, I should have known I was just his side project, his dirty little secret.. I never thought I'd let a boy screw me over like this. Always figured I was stronger than that._

__

_Niall says I'm too trusting, and I think he's right._

\---

Louis still hasn't told Harry. It's been a month of constant texting and flirting at the cafe, after that awkward as fuck date they had, and he's almost one hundred percent sure he is in love with the boy.

He's slipped up quite a few times, making comments about something that he shouldn't know, and every time Harry gets this look on his face like he's extremely confused, but then seems to shrug it off.

(There's one instance where he almost fucks it up completely. They were hanging out in Harry's dorm one evening ("I haven't been in a college dorm in years, this is very strange." "Yes, I know, you're an old man and I'm still in my youth. Who's going to die first, Louis? You."), and a blond boy opened up Harry's room with his mouth open before shutting it. He stares at Louis for so long that he started  to wonder if he had something on his face.

"Who are you?" The boy asked, squinting at him and oh, he's Irish? Interesting. Louis fidgeted before standing up and smiling awkwardly.

"Hi, I'm Louis... You must be Niall, right? Nice to meet you."

He turned to look at Harry and the curly haired boy had that look on his face again. "What?" Louis asked, confused. Harry just shrugged.

"I don't remember mentioning Niall's name ever, but that's probably just me being stupid."

Louis' blood ran cold and he smiled, about to cover for himself when Niall spoke up.

"Mate, you literally talk all the time about nothing, and don't remember it two seconds later. I'm not surprised at all."

"Hey!"

Niall shrugged, then pointed an accusing finger at Harry. "How come you never talk about me, huh? Am I not worthy of being mentioned to your new boyfriend?"

"We're... We're not dating," Louis said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. He wished they were.

He also missed the rejected expression on Harry's face and the look shared between the two friends.)

They're in Louis' flat now, and Harry's head is in his lap while they watch 50 First Dates. He runs his hands through Harry's hair without realizing it, his hand freezing for a moment while he waits for the other boy to move away or object. All he gets is a content hum and Harry smiling into the corner of his knee.

Louis doesn't know what to do when Harry acts this way. They're so comfortable with each other so quickly and he doesn't know how they got here. He never really had many friends, aside from Zayn, and to have this curly haired boy laying in bed with him while they watch rom coms is almost surreal.

\---

Halfway through the movie and Harry feels a hand in his hair. Louis' fingers lightly scratch at his scalp and his eyes flutter shut for two seconds before he's almost purring. Harry loves his hair being played with, it's his favorite thing. His ex used to say he was like a cat, always wanting attention. His ex also used to think it was cute, before he said it started getting annoying.

Harry's worried that Louis might think he's annoying, too, and starts to move his head away. Louis must not want him to, because his grip tightens momentarily in Harry's curls. His eyes slip shut without his permission and he moans quietly, quickly realizing just what happened.

Harry's face starts burning, and he's hoping Louis didn't notice but judging from the way the man's gone still behind Harry means he must have. He's about to turn around and apologize when Louis gets up as quickly as he can and says "I'm gonna go take a shower, you don't have to pause it," before he's fleeing into the bathroom.

Harry's embarrassed as hell, and still a little turned on. So maybe he likes having his hair pulled, it's not his fault!

The water starts running and he flops back on the bed, letting out a dejected sigh. A thought crosses his mind and he sits up quickly, looking around. This is his chance to snoop, as bad as that may be. He wants to see if he can find out more about the man without having to pry it from him.

He starts with the nightstand, digging around and blushing a bit when he comes across a few condoms and lube. Well. He then gets up and opens the closet, but all he gets from that is that Louis has a fuckton of shoes.

He's debating whether or not he should look under the bed or in his dresser when something catches his eye. On the top shelf, above Louis' clothes, lies a leather book that looks vaguely familiar. He frowns, stretching his arm up to grab it and pull it down.

When he finally gets a good look at it, though, he stops breathing. It's- this is his journal. The journal he lost long before him and Louis became friends.

He flips through the book, taking in the way it looks well read and looking up at the bathroom door. Louis has been reading this, but for how long? How long has he known everything Harry has written in this,  and never said anything? Did he find it after they started hanging out, or before? Was this the reason Louis started talking to him at work? Because of his fucking _diary? Is that why he acted so weird when I asked him out?_

__

Harry’s furious, upset, and confused. He doesn’t know what to think, or what to do. Should he confront Louis? Act like it never happened?

The water in the bathroom shuts off, and Harry quickly stuffs his journal in his bag and slips his shoes on. He’s halfway down the hallway when he hears Louis exit the bathroom, and already opening the front door of the flat when Louis calls out a confused “Harry? Where did you-” Before the door slams behind him and he’s gone.

\---

It's been four days since Harry slammed out of Louis' place, and he hasn't texted him back or listened to his voicemails. Louis doesn't know what he did wrong. Why is Harry ignoring him?

"Zayn, I don't know what to do. I don't remember doing anything wrong." Louis is laying on his bed, pathetically eating a bowl of Ben and Jerry's and pining over stupid curly hair and dimples while his phone is on the pillow beside him.

"Maybe he's straight? And he realized you had feelings for him?"

"That's bull, Zayn. He can't be straight. I was petting his hair that very night, he was like a kitten. Besides, he moaned when I accidentally pulled his hair. He can't possibly be straight," Louis scoffed.

"Lou..." He could almost hear Zayn rolling his eyes. "You don't have to be gay to like your hair being pulled. Trust me," he says, and Louis grins.

"Zayn, that's some naughty stuff. But trust me, that boy is definitely into guys. He has an ex boyfriend, anyway. And he was so mean to Harry."

Fuck. He misses his boy. He misses the two of them hanging out. He misses Harry, and they haven't even known each other that long. It's just... Louis feels like they're closer than they probably are, like he knows Harry so much more, thanks to his diary.

Louis jumps up. If he can't spend time in the boy's company, reading his words will have to suffice.

"Zayn, I'mma let you go. Talk to you later, okay? Bye," he hangs up and throws his phone on the bed behind him.

On his tiptoes, Louis reaches his arm up and reaches for the book. However, his hand just comes up empty and covered in dust. Frowning, he lands back on his feet and tries to think of any other place he could have put it. He remembers it being there, the last time he had touched it was the morning before Harry was over...

Louis freezes, then sags against the closet door. "Damnit." Harry, he must have found it when Louis was in the shower. That's why he left so suddenly.

He needs an explanation. Louis can't imagine what must be going through Harry's head right now, after finding something so personal in his closet.

What if he thinks Louis is a stalker, though? Like, some sort of creep or pervert. Fuck, why hadn't he given it back earlier? Or told him about it? He's in trouble.

\---

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

"Niall, would you quit that?" Harry yells at his bedroom door.

"Hazza! Talk to me, please. Miss Fluffkins misses you!" Niall pleads from the other side of the door. Another _thump_ sounds as Niall lets his forehead hit the wood again. "What's wrong, bro? What happened with what's-his-face, Louis?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm confused." He stands up and unlocks the door anyway, then heads back to his bed and curls up under the covers. Niall opens the door with their kitten in his arms and sets her down at the foot of the bed. He crawls in behind Harry and wraps his arms around the younger boy's stomach while the kitten lays in front of him.

"What happened, Harry?" He asks again, letting his friend cuddle in against his front. Harry's eternally grateful for Niall.

The journal is on its back in front of Harry's face and Niall must see it because he makes a weird noise. "Your diary! Where did you find that?"

Of course, that's the golden question. "It's a journal. And Lou's closet."

Niall sucks in a breath behind him, surprised. "Well that's... Not cool."

Harry's chest hurts, but he laughs anyway. He ignores the bitter sound of it. "Yeah, that's what I thought. I don't know what to think. I mean, it's awkward. He's read everything I wrote in here. It's so embarrassing. This is where I write shit down that I would never tell anyone in real life. Like, it's a bunch of stupid stuff, right? Shit that makes me look incredibly childish. And personal stuff, entries about Jeff and others." He breathes in deeply, feeling his lip tremble. Niall doesn't say anything, just lets him talk. "He read this all and acted like nothing was strange about it. He acted so normal around me..." Harry's next words sound so small when he asks, "do you think, the entire time, he was laughing at me?"

\---

When Louis knocks on the door to their dorm, Niall answers with a frown, then scowls. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to Harry," Louis says, shifting from foot to foot. He brings a hand up to rub at the back of his neck and smiles at Niall, trying to look reassuring. The blond boy just leans his hip against the door frame and crosses his arms.

"Why's that?" He asks, quirking a brow. Louis narrows his eyes at him.

"You obviously know why. Can I please come in? Please. I can explain it all."

They stare at each other for a few moments more before a _meow_  sounds from within the dorm. It seems to break his resolve. Niall sighs and steps back in, holding the door open. "You better make sure he understands what's up. He really likes you."

That's... Nice to know. Louis smiles at Niall as he passes him, saying "thanks, man," and heading toward Harry's room. He knocks on the door, and waits.

"The door is unlocked, Niall." Harry doesn't sound good. Louis becomes increasingly more worried and anxious as he opens the door and slips in, shutting it behind him.

Harry is curled up under a bunch of blankets on his stomach, facing away from the door. When Louis looks closer, he realizes the boy's flipping through his diary.

"Hey," he says softly, not moving an inch closer. At his voice, Harry's head whips around, his eyes wide. He sits up and stares at Louis, then picks up the book and raises it in the air.

"When were you going to tell me?"

Louis stares at it, his mouth dry. "I, uh, don't know."

Harry frowns and squints his eyes at Louis. "You don't know? Were you just going to pretend that you hadn't read this? Was it a joke to you? Did you laugh at me behind my back, because I'm in university and I still write in a diary?" He says diary sarcastically.

"No!" At that, Louis moves closer, his hands up in a pleading manner. "Harry, Hazza, listen to me. I found that on a bus one morning-"

"Yeah, because that's where I lost it!" He's becoming more visibly upset, and Louis has to explain.

"No, Haz, you don't understand. Just listen to me, please." He waits for Harry to say anything else, but it looks like he might be able to tell the entire story. "I started reading it, after I found it, because I wanted to know who I could return it to. I know that's a stupid assumption, seeing as how no one would put their full name on their diary-"

"Journal."

"Okay, journal- but I just wanted to see if I could return it. I kept reading it because it was so interesting- and yes, I felt guilty as hell. But I couldn't stop. And then I finally learned your name, and I knew I was a step closer. I couldn't figure out if you were a boy or a girl and then in that coffee shop, your coworker called you Harry and I just _knew_ it was you," he breathes, watching Harry for any reaction, but his face stayed blank. "But I couldn't just walk up to you and hand it back without making sure, so I started talking to you. At that point I had read that thing front to back and I felt really bad about it, you have to know that.

"And then you asked me out and at that point I was mostly sure that the guy at the coffeeshop, you, were the same person I had fallen in love with through the journal. And that date was so awkward, I'm sorry, I just didn't want us to get together when there was such a large secret between us and-" he stops for another breath, about to continue when he sees the look on Harry's face. He's just staring at Louis, eyes wide and lips parted and he tries to figure out what he had said.

__

_Shit._ "Harry, I-"

"Did you mean it?" Harry asks, forcefully, standing up off the bed for the first time and taking a step toward Louis.

He nods, not sure what else he can do. It feels like his entire body is frozen, and Harry is a fire. "I meant it. I mean it. Knowing you in person has just helped that, and I do. I love you."

It's a surprise when Harry tackles Louis. They fall back against the door, Louis narrowly missing having a door handle shaped bruise on his hip. "Harry, what-" he starts to ask, but is cut off when Harry kisses him.

Harry kisses him. His lips are soft, and his hands are gripping Louis' biceps so hard he might have bruises and all Louis can do is kiss back. His hands go to Harry's waist, and he realizes that the boy has love handles, for Christ's sake.

They pull away to take gasping breaths, both their eyes open wide. Louis is shocked, and Harry looks it too. "I can't believe I just did that," he says, grinning. His dimples indent his cheek and Louis raises a finger to poke at one.

"I'm really glad you did. Also I'm really sorry I read your journal," Louis tells him.

Harry sighs. "It's basically a diary, who am I kidding? Each entry starts with 'Dear Diary.'"

That startles a laugh out of Louis. "Yeah, I know."

**  
**


End file.
